Raising Kind Hearts: Parents Caring for Loved Ones with Alzheimer’s Nurture Compassion in Kids

Story:

Mackenzie was frantically searching the living room. "Mom! My monsters are gone!" she cried, tears welling up in her eyes.

Her mom knelt beside her. "Are you sure you didn’t leave them somewhere else?"

Mackenzie shook her head. "No! I always put them in my monster box, and I left the box on the coffee table. Gran must have taken it!"

A faint noise from the bedroom drew their attention. When they peeked around the corner, they saw Gran sitting on the bed, humming to herself as she played with the monsters.

"Gran!" Mackenzie exclaimed, rushing over. "Those are my monsters!"

Gran clutched the monsters tighter, her expression shifting between worry and defiance. “No, no! They’re mine!” she insisted.

Mackenzie’s mom gently intervened. “Mackenzie, come into the living room with me. I want to tell you something.” 

As they sat on the couch together, mom softly said, “Gran’s brain is a bit like a puzzle right now. Some pieces don’t fit the way they used to. Sometimes she takes things because she thinks they’re hers, or because they make her feel safe.”

Mackenzie frowned. “But that’s not fair. They’re my monsters.”

“I know it feels unfair,” her mom said, giving her a hug. “But Gran doesn’t mean to upset you. Her brain is sick, and that makes her do things she wouldn’t have done before. Do you think you could let her keep them for a little while? It might make her feel better.”

Mackenzie thought about it for a moment. “Okay,” she said quietly. “But can I give her something else to hold instead?”

“That’s a great idea,” her mom said with a smile. Together, they found a soft scarf that gran used to love. Mackenzie offered it to her gran, who immediately lit up, put down the monsters, and started stroking the scarf.

From then on, Mackenzie started to understand her grandmother a little more. She even helped her mom by finding small items that might make gran happy such as colorful beads and old photographs.

Information: Parents caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s cultivate compassion in children by taking intentional steps to build empathy and understanding. 

Here's a guide to help children connect with both their parent’s experience and their loved one’s condition, fostering kindness and compassion.

1. Age-Appropriate Conversations

• Explain Alzheimer’s: Use simple, relatable language to describe the condition. For younger children, a great place to start this conversation is to watch the Mackenzie Meets Alzheimer’s Disease Animated Story Video (LINK) together and discuss it with your child.

• Address Questions: Encourage curiosity. Answer questions honestly but gently, emphasizing that their loved one is still the same person inside.

2. Teach Emotional Awareness

• Identify Feelings: Help children recognize emotions like sadness, frustration, or exhaustion in their parents. Use phrases like, "Mom looks a little tired today. How do you think we can help her?"

• Model Compassion: Show them how to offer comfort, like a hug or a kind word, and explain why it’s meaningful.

3. Encourage Active Involvement

• Simple Acts of Care: Include children in caregiving tasks appropriate for their age. They can draw pictures, read stories, or play gentle games with their loved one.

• Special Moments: Create opportunities for positive interactions, like sharing old family photos or singing songs.

Tips:

Here are some tips to assist you in creating compassion:

1. Don’t force information on children. Allow the learning to evolve organically by intervening in situations like Mom did in the story above.

2. Watch for opportunities to teach children about Alzheimer’s and answer their questions honestly. When a child asks a question, they are ready to hear the honest answer.

3. Teach by example. When adults demonstrate compassion in their interactions with children and others, they provide a powerful model for children to learn and practice compassion themselves.

Activities:

• Create Empathy Through Stories: Share narratives, like Mackenzie’s, to help children see Alzheimer’s behaviors through a lens of understanding.

• Involve Them in Care: Let children take small roles, like helping to set up a memory box with familiar items for their loved ones.

• Celebrate Patience: Praise their efforts when they show kindness, even in small moments.

Actions;

• Download our PDF Incorporating Your Child Into The Care Of Their Loved One Who Has Alzheimer’s Disease Or Any Type Of Dementia.

• At the end of the blog, let us know if you found these tips helpful, and please share your favorite tips and activities for fostering compassion in your children. 

By blending education, emotional awareness, and real-life examples, you help children build compassion, not only for their loved one who has Alzheimer’s or any type of dementia, but also for their mom or dad carrying much of the caregiving responsibility. With love and understanding, they can become a source of light and support in challenging times.